Decisions, Decisions

I've made the decision that come June, when school ends and I'm laid off I will not be returning to work. It's six months and it seems too long to wait, but I don't want to screw anyone over in the middle of the school year so I'm going to tough it out as best I can. The plan is for Chuck to get a full time job and I'll work part time in the evenings here and there so I don't lose my mind from being at home all the time.

We've also decided to homeschool. I know he's only one, but we've been thinking about it since before he was born and with his special needs and my passion for learning and sharing knowledge it seems like the best possible option. I'd rather be the one making sure he is learning and getting all the supports he needs than trust some person I barely know with his education, medication and his future. When he's old enough he can make the decision for himself if he wants to go to public school or continue to be homeschooled.

Honestly I am still not happy about going back to work on Monday, but I think it will make it easier knowing that I have some idea of what we want to do and having a date on the calendar for my last day will make things easier. I guess it just came down to the decision that my child is what is most important to me. We've been surviving so far on one full time and one barely part-time income so I'm confident we'll be able to manage with the two of us switched around, and Chuck would have no problem getting a job as an EA or a CCA in a school.

I can't wait to be able to spend so much time with Skyler, teaching him, helping him learn about the world around him and letting him explore it in his own way, seeing things the way that only he can see them. Perhaps I am just nostalgic about the time I spent with N, teaching her one on one and watching her grow and discover the world around her. I want to share those experiences with my son.

Another reason I want to be the one to teach him is I have had instruction in the way that blind kids learn, and the best ways to encourage them to explore the world around them. Honestly working in the school system and being acquaintances with people who work as EA's I have seen and heard things I utterly dislike and I worry about my child being subjected to them. In December I was passing by the room next to our kindergarten room (which is a special needs resource room) and I saw an EA yelling at a special needs child. She was extremely angry that the girl had run ahead of her in the hallway. She was frustrated, and I understand human emotions and human flaws but honestly the way she was treating this child (who was screaming and clearly upset and scared by the anger of her EA) just sickened me. I wanted to say something, to do something, but I felt powerless. I made the decision to inform my supervisor and to keep an eye on it and see if it happens again. (The school and the daycare basically have nothing to do with each other, we're separate entities even though we share a building, so it was out of our hands, except to let someone in the school know.)

I also have spoken to an old acquaintance of mine I went to university with who now works as an EA in an elementary school, and her special needs student is a blind child. This woman has no training regarding blindness, does not know how to read Braille, and basically informed me that she spends most of her time photocopying things and making the print huge and that she thinks it's annoying. She was also judgemental about the child's family and how they handled his visual impairments.

One of the people I work with is also an inclusion worker, and while she is a wonderful person and very intelligent and is amazing when working with a large group of children, had the title of inclusion worker thrust upon her without her knowledge (Basically was hired and told after the fact that "oh by the way you're going to be an inclusion worker"). She had no prior training or knowledge about special needs of any kind and was not enthusiastic about being an inclusion worker. She has since obtained training and is now comfortable working with the child, but I fear this type of situation happening in my son's case where perhaps it won't end as well.

I think in our case homeschooling is the best option, and I am going to start as soon as I finish work in June. How do you homeschool a toddler? By giving him every opportunity to play and explore the world around him of course! Read him stories, sing him songs, show him pictures, and let him feel the words in his books with his fingers. I think he will learn by experiencing things more than by just being told to memorize things and repeat what's told to him. Plus that's so boring. Who wouldn't want to follow their own interests and learn by hands on activities and experiences?

Now if only I could get him back on some semblance of a schedule.. I hate the holidays for that. Everyone wants you to stay out late, they wonder why we leave at 9:30pm and we tell them the baby needs his sleep and they look at us like we're idiots. And as a result of him staying up until 10pm for several nights he refuses to go to sleep. We put him to bed tonight at 8pm (after yet another family dinner which we left early) and he has been awake in his crib, talking and yelling this entire time, it is now midnight and he has yet to sleep for even 10 minutes.. Oh it's going to be a long long week..

Perfection

Happy New Year Everyone!

The last few days have been great, the apartment is so clean, tidy and organized. Chuck decided to get one of those robot vacuums. I laughed, but it actually keeps the floor nice and clean for Skyler. It's so much easier to let it go once a day to pick up all the crumbs and other bits that he might otherwise be putting in his mouth. Not that we're extremely messy people, but Skyler does like to fling food off of his highchair, and sweeping doesn't always get everything.

Aside from it looking so nice in here and us being able to keep up with everything, I'm spending so much more time with Skyler. I've been able to feed him everyday, work on baby signs (he actually signed "all done" for the first time in the tub the other day!) and read him stories, sing him songs, dance with him. We've been doing so much, he's been learning so much! How to clap, how to sign for things, how to stand by himself (still very shaky, but getting better with tons of enthusiastic encouragement), how to use a spoon to feed himself. I honestly never want to go back to work. Sigh.

Yesterday I gave the monster his first haircut! No more baby mullet! Haha, he looks much cuter as you can see in the picture. His hair was driving me nuts, but daddy didn't want to part with it. Next to get a haircut is mommy I hope. Yesterday we went shopping and I finally got something for myself. I needed new shoes so badly, the ones I have are completely worn out in the heel, so I used my gift card from Christmas to buy some cute black and purple ones. I also installed Windo.ws 7, which so far is alright. It looks pretty neat, and I like some of the new apps like the snipping tool and the sticky notes.

I'm excited for church on Sunday, we went last Sunday too of course. The sermon was all about yoga and spirituality, we had a yoga instructor come in and he even had us doing a bunch of different positions and meditations, I really enjoyed it. This Sunday is a sermon about poetry, entitled "How should we live our lives?" because it really is an open ended question. I think everyone has a slightly different take on it honestly.

The other day I sat Skyler down on the kitchen floor with a piece of paper and I dabbed on some finger paint, he used to just sit there and I would put his fingers in it, but this time he saw me put down the paint and he leaned in immediately and started spreading it all over the paper. It was so much fun to watch him enjoying finger painting so much, and doing it all by himself.

Today the most exciting thing happened, after feeding him breakfast (a whole banana and some vanilla yogurt) I sat down with him in his living room and I moved back so that I was pretty far away (in terms of how close we usually are) and as a test I made eye contact with him and moved my hand silently from side to side and up and down. He tracked my every movement! We've been noticing that it seems like he is seeing further, but I am a hundred percent sure of it now.

I actually marked my place with a diaper and went and grabbed my measuring tape. He can see and track objects that are 42-45 inches away from him! This is honestly amazing to me. He blows my mind everyday. For the longest time he could only see us if we were about 24 inches away. Yesterday Chuck went to give him a bottle and as he walked into the room Skyler was looking at the bottle and showing signs that he saw it. He was at least 4 feet away.

I know I'll have to go back to work soon, but right now, life is just perfect..

Skyler Living It Up

Skyler taking his first ride in the sled grandma and grandpa gave him.

Checking out his new chair in his little living room area.

Skyler watching tv.

Trying to grab Winn.ie the Po.oh.



I love those moments. Watching him reach out to touch the bear on tv reconfirms for me just how much he can actually see. It might not be much, but it's better than nothing. And yes I let my kid watch tv that close to the screen. Haha.

Fighting For Our Children's Rights

I've been following this story on the CBC for a while and if you read through the comments (many as they are) you may be able to pick out which ones are mine. This woman is fighting to put in place the supports her daughter will need when she enters school. As always there are people who are opposed to this idea. The "innocent taxpayers" who abhor the idea of paying for someone else's special needs child to have the interventions to save her life made available to her in the public school system. Sometimes I just don't understand people...

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Sky guy made out like a bandit at his grandma and grandpa's christmas dinner last night (they celebrate it on Christmas Eve). He got a new sled, a stuffed dog which he is terrified of, a set of 3 ducks on a string that waddle and quack when you pull them, a xylophone which admittedly is mommy's favourite of the night, and a new sleeper. I also got a package in the mail yesterday from my aunt in B.C. She sent him a lot of really adorable clothes, which he will grow into by next winter, and a box of chocolate chip cookies, which he will enjoy this winter, possibly with some help from mom.

Today is my side of the family's Christmas celebrations. It's my first year with my parents separated so this should prove interesting. I have to go to my mom's for dinner, and my dad wants me at my nana's afterwards. I've got my fingers crossed that it all works out without too many problems..

I've started making a list of all the stuff we need to get once the mad holiday rush is over. Which I suppose I should explain to my non-Canadian friends. I just learned last year actually that you guys don't have Boxing Day. The day after Christmas all the stores put everything on sale really really cheap and it's like a crazy mad rush/stampede for people to buy things. The malls are absolutely insane for pretty much a week surrounding Christmas, before and after. I'm hoping I'll be able to go shopping Sunday or Monday without getting trampled as I have a few things I need to get and now I have some Christmas money to spend. I also sold my dining room table yesterday since we've decided to use a smaller one for now. So that was an extra hundred bucks in my pocket.

I must admit being home with Skyler is hard, not because I don't love every second of being home, but because he is calling for me all day everyday, he wants to be snuggled and held and have his mommy and no one else. Which is not the hard part. The hard part for me is knowing that I have to go back to work in a few days and I won't be able to be with him every day anymore. I'm starting to want to stay home with him. I want to be the one holding him every time he falls or needs hugs and kisses. I love watching him play and grow and learn. I don't see him enough when I work these stupid 11 hour days, not to mention I don't get paid for 2 and a half hours of it. When I go back in January I think there are some serious questions I need to ask, and if I don't get the answer I need then things may have to change a bit.

Merry Christmas everyone, I hope you are all well and enjoying your families.

Best Christmas Gift!

He gained an entire pound since December 1st!! (he weighed in at 14 pounds at his endocrine appt.) Ladies and Gentlemen, the baby who has weighed 14 pounds for the last 4 months is finally a hefty 15 pounds 6 ounces at 13 months old!

That is all.

Neat & Tidy

It's a good thing we rearranged his stuff when we did because he woke up early the next morning and decided he was completely ready to crawl and pull up on furniture and walk around it. Yesterday for the first time, I plopped him in the middle of the room not near any toys, he crawled over to the living room table and pulled himself up, (laughing triumphantly of course) and walked around it, trying to eat the table frame the entire time. I guess that's it, he's mobile now. We're screwed.

As for his zebra, he was standing at the end table next to the zebra last night, he let go momentarily and bumped his head on Mr. Zebra. He then got back up, pulled himself to stand at the table, reached over and gave Mr. Zebra a good shaking. He went at it for a solid 10 minutes. I pity anyone who crosses my child's path. Poor zebra, he must have head trauma after all that shaking. I think Sky got him back pretty good. And we got a video of it. We were both cracking up, it was pretty funny.

After tackling his area yesterday I went tornado on the apartment with Chuck's help. We purged a lot of crap, reorganized so much stuff, and now our living room is as nice as his. Our bookshelf is just as pretty as his, and our storage closet is no longer throwing things at us as soon as we open the door. Everything is put away neat and orderly. Some things went to the consignment shop, others to charity. I'm quite happy with the way my apartment looks now I must say. The bedroom however.. Let's just not go there. I suppose that should be the next project.

Today we're going to try and get Skyler weighed and measured. I'm hoping, hoping, hoping (fingers crossed) that he's grown at least a teeny tiny little bit. I've got my fingers crossed that now that he's not on such a high dose of steroids, that he'll begin to grow like he should.